


Who needs Demons when you have Humans?

by Bronzewitch30928



Series: A demon as a best friend [2]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Bill just follows Dipper around and annoys her, Human!Bill, I ship cipherpines so there will be cipherpines in this story, Slow Build, cause I dont know what to put here, fem!Dipper, highschool, it starts off as an antagonistic friendship, more tags to come, not even that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-02-28 03:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2717012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bronzewitch30928/pseuds/Bronzewitch30928
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year and a half after a car accident leaves Bill Cipher, Dream-Demon, trapped in a human body, strange things begin happening in Peidmont, California. It's up to the Mystery Trio (Dipper, Mabel, and Bill)  to get to the bottom of this when something, or someone, kidnaps one of their classmates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The beginning

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired in part (mostly) by Palolabg. Find her on tumblr because she has an awesome AU that has stolen what was left of my soul.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter is ALL backstory. Think of it as an hor dourve, something to prepare you for what is about to come.

"No!" Dipper Pines had barely shouted the word before the dark blue hatchback slammed into the boy, sending him flying several feet. Dipper stared in shock for a moment stopping in the middle of the road. There was a honk and a screech as a car swerved to miss the accident, and ran into her.

The crunch as the car hit her was painful. So were the several bounces as momentum propelled her across the blacktop. She heard shouting, people slamming on brakes, footsteps rushing towards her. The blackness surrounded her as she passed out. 

Dipper surfaced as she was being loaded in the back of an ambulance. She heard arguing and a hot pink blob flew into the back with her, adamantly refusing to leave. Mabel. She briefly wondered why her vision was blurry but the thought left her head. She’d worry about that later.

She could only assume HE was being taken by another bus…. wait were those sobs she heard? Of course. Mabel was crying. She could be just as stubborn as Dipper. Always trying to be strong, facing danger in the face and laughing.

Dipper opened her eyes to see her sister, the effort like rolling boulders up a hill. There were tears streaming down her face, snot dribbling from here nose, her eyes were red and her breath was hitching as she tried to breath around the terror. she was a mess, in pain, and It killed Dipper to see her sister like this. 

The bus hit a pothole, throwing Dipper up in the air for a second and bringing her back down onto the gurney with a thud. She let out an involuntary groan as her already throbbing head made contact.

Her vision swam before her and, for a moment, everything was gray.

Mabel leaned over her, shouting her name asking if she was okay. Dipper tried to smile, but the muscles in her face weren’t responding.

"We’re putting her under. General anesthesia." She heard.

Her world went dark again.  
—————————

White. The first color she saw was white and for a second, Dipper thought she was dead. Then she heard the beeping. That convinced her she was alive. Nothing in the void could be that annoying. Her vision was still a little blurry, but nothing like before.

"Where am I?" Dipper asked weakly, not really caring if anyone was there.

"You’re okay!" Mabel shrieked when she heard Dipper talk. She leaned over, and was about to give Dipper a hug, but thought twice about it as her hip jostled Dipper’s plaster enveloped arm, making her gasp in pain.

"Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! Are you okay?" Mabel gasped out, hands flying to her mouth as she jumped back.

Dipper nodded as the pain died down a bit. “Yeah, I’m okay. I think? What happened?” 

"You were hit by a speeding car Miss Pines. You were lucky to not be severely injured." A doctor said as he walked in, smiling at the teenager. "Hi. I’m Doctor Young."

Mabel sat back down and picked up a ball of yarn from her bag on the floor, occasionally shooting a sly glance at the young, attractive doctor. 

Dipper had to stifle a groan. Of course. Now that she was confirmed okay, Mabel would return to her objective of summer romance. The girl had drive.

"So how bad am I?" Dipper asked. "And why is my eyesight blurry?"

"A broken arm, mild lacerations along your entire body from both the windshield and the road, and a few internal bruises that we are monitoring. Nothing too serious. At least, nothing that wont heal with time, medication, and good old fashioned bed rest. As for the vision… it’s from the trauma of the impact. Only time will tell if it gets better."

Dipper let out a groan this time, mourning the loss of an entire summer, and wincing as her torso throbbed.

"Just where is the bruising?" She asked weakly as her doctor checked her vitals. She was trying to dodge the question that was really on her mind. And trying to ignore the looks her sister was giving her doctor. 

"The bruising is mostly on the right side of your body and most of it is to the bones themselves, such as your ribs."

Dipper nodded absently, trying not to ask the question. But when the doctor turned to leave, she couldn’t resist. 

"What happened to the boy? The one who got hit."

The doctor turned and looked at her sadly. “Right now he’s in a chemical coma. If he were to wake up, I don’t think he’d be comprehensive enough to understand much of anything. He’d be in too much pain.”

He turned and left. 

"So why were you and Bill arguing?" 

"I accused him of being Demon!Bill Cipher in disguise."

"What?! Why?" Mabel exclaimed. She had a very firm stance on the two Bills in their lives. Mainly that a name doesn’t make someone something they’re not. 

Meaning that the boy who had moved into the house next to theirs two years after their first summer in Gravity Falls had nothing to do with the omnipotent triangle that plagued their lives. 

Dipper disagreed.

So when Bill Cipher, the boy next door, had asked if he could tag along on their now annual trip to Gravity Falls, Dipper had put a plan into action to confront him. Said plan had dissolved into yelling at him in Latin, him thinking she was insane, and running away from a griffin who had chased them into oncoming traffic. One of the more spectacular fails in Dippers life.

"Because it’s just too wierd that a boy named Bill Cipher shows up and lives next to us, whose parents are not only archeologists, but also teach Egyptology and psychology at the local University. He even looks a bit like Bill, all yellowish and stuff. So of course I was suspicious."

Mabel rolled her eyes and continued working the wool. Unsurprisingly, after only half an hour, she was done with the first sock.

"You obsess too much Dippin-dot." 

Dipper just rolled her eyes and tried to go back to sleep.  
————————— 

The next two months were a blur of pain medication, trips to the hospital, and hanging out with Wendy and Soos at the Shack. Dipper wasn’t allowed to go anywhere near the forest or the road, and was ordered to go to bed early. This summer was turning into a drag.

A couple weeks before the end of summer, Dipper went to the hospital to get the cast removed, only to be handed a Velcro strapped sling.

"Now remember, that arm isn’t healed all the way. So no strenuous activity until cleared by a doctor."

"Which means no walks in the woods Dip." Mabel intoned, making serious face. She then snorted and gave Dipper a look that said "we’ll be back before the end of the week."

Dipper wasn’t paying attention. Two doors down there was a commotion. Nurses were shouting for doctors. Doctors came running with instuments and vials and needles. 

Dipper rushed over to see what was happening. 

As she approached, she heard the whisperers. “Apparently he didn’t wake up, even after being eased out of the chemical coma.” 

"Two months."

"Yeah he just woke up and started asking for his parents." 

"He’s incredibly coherent for someone who’s been unconscious for over a month. He even knows how many days have passed since he got here." 

Dipper approached the room. As she looked in she saw Bill and his parents, who had come up to the Falls when they had received the news. They had tried to talk to Dipper, but she had avoided them whenever they came to the Shack. 

So Bill had woken up.

Bill looked up and smiled. “Hi Dipper. Please, come in” 

"Dipper!" Mrs. Cipher smiled and walked over to her, giving her a small hug. "It’s so good to see you!" 

"You too." Dipper mumbled, wondering why she was giving her a hug.

"Hello Martha." Mr. Cipher said, extending his hand in a formal gesture of greeting. 

Dipper frowned as she shook his hand. How had he found out about her real name? And why did he use it? Most people called her Dipper and she was fine with that. Martha was just too... blah.

"Mom? Dad? Can me and Pinetree have a moment to um… reconcile?" Bill asked innocently. "We had a fight before the accident, I think, and I'd like to apologize." 

Dipper’s eyes grew wide in horror, and her breathing picked up. 

"Sure sweetie. We’ll be a few doors down talking to the doctors. Just holler when you need us." Mrs. Cipher looked down at Dipper and whispered, " he has some amnesia from the brain injury. So he might not remember what you two were arguing about."

With those words, Mrs. Cipher reached out and dragged her husband out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"Alright. What did you do to him?" She growled, trying to hide the fact that she was absolutely scared. "And really? Amnesia? Isn't that a bit cliche?"

"Haha so you got the reference. I’m glad that death trap I set up didn’t addle your brain. And it may be cliche, but it covers up for the fact that I'll have to learn all those subtle human nuances. Like going to the bathroom for instance"

"Eww. Gross. TMI Bill. Wait. Let me get this straight, you set up the accident?"

"Of course I did. I wanted to kill you, although I must say that I’m happy I failed. And as for the boy… He’s gone. He passed on into the Void a few seconds after the accident. That’s why I was able to take this meatbag scott free."

Dipper frowned. “Why?” 

"Why does anyone leave? He was done on earth. Honestly, you need to study philosophy a bit more Pinetree."

"No. Why are you glad you failed?"

  
At that, Bill started fidgeting, a blush starting to form on his face and traveling down towards his neck. He ran a hand through his blonde hair. He looked so hopelessly confused it might have been cute… if the one controlling the actions had been even remotely human.

"Imightbestuckinthisbody…" he mumbled, trying to save himself humiliation. 

Instead Dipper smiled. She had heard it all. “You’re stuck in that body?” 

The blush deepened. “Yes.” 

"How?" 

"If I knew, do you think I’d be asking for your help?" He snapped.

"Okay geez. No need to take my head off. So how trapped are you?"

Bill grimaced. “I can use basic spells, and travel the Dreamscape when this meatsack sleeps but that’s about it.” 

"Wow." Dipper thought to herself. "Someone really did a doozy on him." 

"Yeah they did." Bill said. Dipper frowned. "I can also read minds." 

"That’s going to get annoying." 

Bill opened his mouth to suggest Dipper go jump out of a window, when the door opened, revealing none other than Mabel.

"Hey!" She said cheerfully, skipping to stand beside her twin at the foot of the bed. "So how are you feeling Bill?" 

"Pretty good Shooting-star. Say, could you pass that can of soda? I’m parched."

Mabel moved to get the can then stopped and turned, a strange look on her face. “What did you call me?” She asked.

"Shooting-star of course. I’ve always called you that." Bill replied, grinning.

Mabel looked at Dipper, confused. This kid had never called her that. 

"Can someone explain please?"

"Mabel. This is Bill. You know… the Demon?"

Mabel looked over at him. “Are you sure?”

"Oh, I’m sure."

Mabel sighed. “Oh great. You were right. Just please don’t say I told you so. I don’t think I could live with you if you did.” 

"Really?!" Dipper asked, "out of everything to be concerned about, you’re worried about me rubbing it in that I was right?" 

"Duh."

"Glad to see one of the Pines twins has her priorities straight." 

"Shut it Cipher."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys ^-^ so what did you think? I'm trying to stay true to the characters, but there isn't very much on Fem!Dipper. So sorry if they are a bit ooc. Hope you guys enjoy!


	2. A year and a half later

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of an adventure and the realization that the world they are now a part of is being threatened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written during a rainstorm and criminal minds.
> 
> Oh and I also take prompts of Tumblr.

Dipper sighed and pushed Bill’s hands off his homework. She felt bad for him, she really did. It must be hard going from an omniscient dream demon of indeterminate power and age to a fifteen year old boy with an affinity for magic.

And then to add insult, and irony, to injury, he couldn’t get a goodnights sleep. Which led to him being passed out in the school library after class.

A year and half and he still wasn’t used to school. Poor guy was exhausted all the time. On the bright side he had learned a new amount of respect for humans. 

She frowned as she read his short story for class. “The witch ran through the feild of grasses her hearts beating agianst her chests”. 

Dipper corrected it for him, “The witch ran through the field of grass, her heart beating against her chest.”

Two weeks back from winter break and he was already losing his mind.

Well what was left of it. 

Over the past year and a half, the Mystery Trio had figured out that a high level spell had been used to systematically seal Bill’s abilities. It had started with his ability to leave his stolen body and use his powers of warping reality. Slowly but surely seals were added, keeping the demon from escaping back into the Dreamscape. Luckily, they had cut them, whoever THEM was, off at the pass. So now Bill didn’t have to worry about the rest of his powers seeping away.

He just had to worry about school, bullies, this parents, his sanity, and his only two real friends.

Like the fact that, apparently, the original Bill Cipher had been a devout Baptist. Now, however, Bill was very much a pagan, and was concerned about what his (his?) parents would do if they found out.

Or the fact that Bill was experiencing the hormonal shifts of a boy going through puberty. Which was awkward. 

And then there were problems outside of himself. 

He had discovered, over time, that Dipper had chronic GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder). Dipper had written it off as nothing. 

The first time he experienced it had been during an attack at night, while the Pines parents had been gone. And it had freaked. Him. Out. 

Bill had been trying to spread out his feelers to see if he could sense more people in the area, when he had felt a wall of pure terror coming from next door. He had rushed over and found Dipper lying on her bed, with Mabel hugging her and stoking her hair, tears streaming down her face, biting her pillow and thinking over and over again “I’m going to die. I’m going to die.” 

A half an hour later, she had calmed down enough to tell him that she had over reacted at a noise that sounded like a creak on the stairs. He had stayed up and watched movies with her and Mabel all night.

Since then he covered for her in class and in public. Magic was good for stuff like that.

He still wasn’t used to the waves of shame and humiliation that came off her at the end of the attacks.

Dipper frowned as she checked his grammar, and wondered how on earth someone as eloquent as Bill could absolutely suck at spelling.  
—————————

Normally on the weekends they went to the park and went so deep into the trees, it was almost like being in Gravity Falls again. Especially when they all found out that the Supernatural was everywhere if you looked hard enough. 

Bill was on his way downstairs to get some food, and then to get the girls so that he could take them to see the tiny unicorn races in Peidmont Park.

He was stopped at the base of the stairs by his mom. 

"Where are you going?"

"To the park with Dipper and Mabel." 

"I think you’d better come with me."  
—————————

A half hour later, the entire block was squeezed into the Pines’ living room.  
“Thank you all for coming at such short notice.” Mr. Pines said, standing in the middle of the room. “I know the kids want to go out today but…” he paused, as though trying to stay the coming words.

"Over the past six months, children have been disappearing from Sacramento and San Francisco. A few weeks ago, they started disappearing from Oakland as well. They have been between the ages of thirteen and eighteen years of age."

Gasps and murmurs shot through the room. 

"The police have been trying to keep this under wraps but last night Amelia DeLoitte disappeared on her way home from school. She lives three blocks north of us, up near the park." 

Dipper, Mabel and Bill shared a look. She was a politician’s daughter, one who had been very cruel to Dipper and Mabel last year. She was evil yeah, but she didn’t deserve the fate that kidnapping brought.

"Have they found any leads?" Mrs. McCarthy asked. She was clutching her 13 year-old daughter’s shoulders as though Cara would be ripped from her at any moment.

"Very few. Except that they found symbols burned into the areas nearby. Always the same one." He held up a picture. "Has anyone seen this before?" 

The picture was of a black serpent, with one eye, eating it’s own tail and was separated into several segments by white lines. 

Everyone shook their heads. Two people were lieing. One was memorizing. 

"Okay then." He said putting it away. "The police have enacted a curfew. Nobody is to be out past sundown with out a reason, especially kids. Also it is highly recommended that you do not stray out on your own. Have at least one other person with you at all times until this is resolved."

"How many children?" Mr. Mancuso asked. "How many were taken before the police did something?" 

"Twenty-five."  
—————————

As people trickled out of the house with various grimaces and scowls on their faces, the three teens went upstairs and shut the door.

Dipper immediately retrieved the Journal from it’s hiding place on her book shelf. She knew the book cover to cover and knew exactly what to find. 

Meanwhile, by unspoken agreement, Bill warded the doorway, and Mabel drew out the symbol that had been found at the crime scene. 

"Here." Mabel said, taking it and pinned it to the cork board on Dipper’s wall. 

"If this is what I think it is we are all in trouble." Bill said, warding the window. "I just hope I’m wrong."

"I don’t think you are." Dipper said, holding a page of the book up to the board. "It’s the Cult of Ouroboros."

"The whaaa?" Mabel said slowly.

"The Cult of Ouroboros." Bill explained. "They believed in the idea of reincarnation, which is real by the way. At first they were all about the recovery of past lives. Now however, they have changed drastically. Now they intend to find immortality."

"What does this have to do with kidnapped kids?" Mabel asked.

"They must have found the recipe for the Philosopher’s stone." Bill said with a look on his face that indicated he thought the idea disgusting. 

"Wait the Philosopher’s stone is a thing? An actual thing?" Dipper said, a slight screech to her voice. 

"Well yeah. The records of the stone go back to the 8th century to the middle east and farther, if you believe the stories, although the only believed making of a stone goes to the French Alchemist Nicholas Flamel." 

Dipper nodded, writing in a new journal. “So what are the effects of the Stone?” 

"Mostly rejuvenation. The immortality bit came from the rumors that Adam got the original stone from God and used it so he and his family could live forever. However, the world was a dangerous place back then, and he was killed. As time went on and the descendents of Adam became greedy and corrupt, God sent a flood to destroy everything, including the stones. Soon after people started living shorter lives. It’s said the stone was destroyed in the flood. However the recipe was carved into stone on the highest mountain. The stone can also turn anything into anything else. Which is why it was used to make gold."

"And what’s the recipe?" The girls asked.

"Supernatural blood. The girl, Amelia DeLoitte, was a harpy. Or at least the descendent of a harpy." 

"Why supernatural blood? Why not just normal blood?" Dipper asked, as Mabel went into a rant about how "of course that horror was a harpy. Explains a lot." 

"The Philosopher’s stone works by rearranging the elements that make up the world around us. That’s why it can turn anything into gold. Supernaturals have a certain something in their blood that allows them to blend with the environment."

Dipper nodded. Mabel gasped and the two turned to her. 

"The park." Mabel said in a horrified whisper.

Bill and Dipper realized what she meant and ran to the door.  
—————————

An hour later, they were talking to the local gnome troop, the dryads, and the fairies. They would spread the word throughout the supernatural underground and get the werewolves and vampires to lay low at night. 

As the dryads assured them that they would get word to the supernatural families that blended in with humanity, Dipper couldn’t help but wonder how she had missed all the magic before she had gone to Gravity Falls. 

As they left they passed the small track where the mini unicorns would have been racing. Instead they were helping to deliver the messages that the Supernatural weren’t safe. 

They all went home, too depressed to stay.  
—————————

Dipper, Bill, and Mabel stayed indoors the rest of the day. They felt sad and scared that their world was being threatened. 

They didn’t know how bad it was about to get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry it took so long to give you guys this chapter. And I am sorry that it's not as action packed as it should be but I needed to set stuff up. Next chapter should get the momentum going. If you have any questions or comments, the box is right there. Seriously.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys ^-^ so what did you think? I'm trying to stay true to the characters, but there isn't very much on Fem!Dipper. So sorry if they are a bit ooc. Hope you guys enjoy!


End file.
